The Evolution Of Love
by Starry o.0
Summary: Little scenes over 10 years. You think she's annoying. It turns out you've been lying to yourself all along..(Thank you.)... [sasusaku]


Sorry I keep revising this story. I keep seeing things I want to add or fix. This is the last time, though…I think Enjoy!

_._

_.__The__**Evolution**__Of__**Love**__._

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**first**__year._

_._

You're seventeen, and back in Konoha. You finally cleared the probation board.

And she is just _slightly_ less annoying than she was back in the academy, you think. Though, that's a very chancy "slightly". She doesn't _openly_ pine after you anymore, or insist on walking the same direction home after training sessions (despite her apartment being five blocks in the opposite direction), and she doesn't get angry when Naruto takes the seat next to you at Ichiraku… which is good. You'll give it to her: that's progress. But she still gives you that strange (annoying) smile of hers that makes you want to glare the hope (_love_) in it away; and she still leaves sliced tomatoes at your bedside when you end up in the hospital.

And that isn't good.

Sakura Haruno is still annoying because she never gives up. She doesn't know when to back down- and that's a life or death lesson as a ninja. You think someone as (supposedly) smart as she is shouldn't be so _dumb _about _this_. About _you_. Can't she see that you aren't interested? That you will _never _be interested?

You're standing on the bridge contemplating all this as she's giving you _that _smile again. It annoys you to be here alone with her. To make it worse, she's being_ quiet_. Usually you would revel in the silence- but Sakura is_ never_ silent (unless it's with you) and you feel like her silence speaks more than any nonsensical thing that might fall out of her mouth. Which is _annoying_ in and of itself; not to mention she's always first (this annoys you as well, because you pride yourself on your timeliness!) which means you're left alone with silent Sakura quite often around training times, and sometimes it's unnerving. Loud, obnoxious,_ stupid_ Sakura is the one you know how to handle. You know a few well-placed insults will get her off your back. But quiet Sakura? An anomaly. You're lost.

Not that you would ever admit that.

Unwittingly, you've started to notice her little habits from all the quiet alone time spent while waiting for your forever-late teammates. Useless things like when she's upset she crosses her arms, or when she's daydreaming she twirls her hair; and sometimes, when she wants to say something but thinks better of it, she bites her lip to keep quiet; or how she drums her fingers when she gets a bit anxious. Little things like that, things you never noticed before because she was too busy talking and you were too busy ignoring and insulting. Or maybe because you two were never alone back then…

She's talking today though, interrupting your thoughts, greeting you suddenly (with her bright, bright colors and your dark, dark conscience, you think) and smiling like that's normal. Like nothing happened, like you two aren't ninja and you didn't _almost_ try to destroy Konoha, like both of your parents are alive and the two of you don't avoid each other, like you aren't an ass to her nearly every time you're together, like you never tried to kill her and she never thought about killing you and the world is a perfect place; where she says hello to a friend, and you say hello back, and the two of you small talk about the weather…

Instead, you frown at her. "Hn."

Light fades from bright, bright green and her smile vanishes as she looks away.

_Good_, your dark, dark conscience thinks as you watch her stare silently across the water as she drums her fingers against the wood of the bridge. _Good_.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**second**__year._

_._

You're eighteen. You're almost ANBU.

Sure, the village is still wary of you. But you're one of the best (_the _best, in your opinion) ninja Konoha has and they can't afford to hold you back. Plus, you have the trust of your teammates, and you've found that their words are held in high regard here. You will never admit you're thankful. But maybe you are, because the three of them have helped you more than you expected.

Naruto, the idiot, is soon to be Hokage.

Kakashi (the other idiot) is now on the council (_what's left of it_, you think with a smirk) after turning down the offer to take Tsunade's position.

_She _is the highest ranking medic in the world.

And you are still the traitor. The last Uchiha. The only black mark on your team's impeccable record.

They send you on missions and you find that you are never the leader. When you walk through town with them, they are greeted with thanks; with smiles; with free things ("No, no, it's on me. You saved our lives, it's the least I can do!"); with civilians who want them to bless their babies. Those types of idiotic _things_. But eyes always avoid you. You are never thanked, you are never given handouts, and they most certainly don't bring their offspring close to you.

It's one of these days, when Naruto asks (insists) you two escort Sakura to work before you train, that your female teammate is stopped by a street vendor offering her a bag of apples. She smiles graciously at the elderly woman, who is bowing and thanking and you turn away with a glare because you know you'll be ignored anyway. Townspeople love Sakura, with her pink hair and her healing hands. They don't know how easily her green eyes can break or how quickly her emotions cause her to make mistakes. They know nothing, you think. If they knew, it wouldn't be _her_ receiving gifts, you think. She's _weak_.

"No need to pay, Miss Haruno, it's my pleasure! After all, you very near brought my grandson back from the grave!"

But the annoying one is still insisting with the money, and the idiot is laughing about it, and all you want to do is to go chidori some trees. You hear Sakura ask Naruto something, and then she's saying your name (without the suffix now) so you force yourself to turn. You keep the glare though. Turning took enough effort. You pointedly look at the bag in her hands, hoping she understands your thoughts about the injustice of this all.

Her posture stiffens and you think she must have read your mind. "Would you like some tomatoes? Ms. Sen has the best in all of Konoha. I'll buy them for you, in return for the apples." She's biting her lip, and you are _almost_ curious as to what more she would like to say. You decline the offer, because she shouldn't waste her money on _tomatoes_. Because she wants to _repay_. She shouldn't waste her money on _you_. You don't say any of this though. Then she's telling the vendor about you and your favorite fruit, and if you were a lesser man you might have been embarrassed by it all. The older woman seems to notice you for the first time. She looks you over cautiously, as Sakura is smiling brilliantly (_annoyingly_) behind her.

"There's still no need to pay, Miss Haruno. I owe the Uchiha quite a lot as well… if he would like a bag of my tomatoes, he is welcome to them."

You wonder- as the old woman turns and begins to put together a bag for you- if she knew how much blood was on your hands, would she so willingly show her back to you? She only sees dark shadows and "traitor"… But she doesn't know how ruthless your eyes can bleed, or how you've laughed as you watched life fade from a man. She knows nothing, you think. If she knew, she wouldn't be giving _you_ anything.

You're struck by the irony of your thoughts…

You leave the stall with a dozen tomatoes, two satisfied teammates, and the feeling of the first civilian since your return to_ thank you_.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**third**__year._

_._

You're nineteen, and the idiot tells you first.

She's going on a mission- the first solo mission she's taken since the war. Now that the hospital is rebuilt and the staff is adequate again, she doesn't need to spend every second of her life there anymore. She was being over-worked anyway, you think. She needs to take better care of herself before worrying about caring for others. This mission will be good for her. Sakura needs a break from the hospital.

You wonder why you thought any of that.

"She's going to Suna for a year, to train their medical staff."

Naruto looks sad. You stare at him like he grew two heads. Sakura is leaving Konoha for a _year_? She is the _last_ person you expected to take on an extended mission. She takes her work too seriously; she loves her town too much. She loves her team (_you_) too much. While you hardly regard her as more than a teammate, you (_unwillingly_!) know her quite well (as was only bound to happen being on the same team, you think) and it hurts your pride to be wrong about these things. Or _any_thing, for that matter.

She is_ quite_ annoying.

"There's a party tonight for her. I'll come get you at 8!" And true to his word, the (very, very) soon-to-be Hokage is yanking you into a bar later that night.

It's like the whole town came out to drink Sakura goodbye. You knew it would be this way though, everyone loves your teammates. You feel out of place; being around all these people, and being here because it's for _her_. It's not like you've been pleasant to her in the past few years. You really can't remember the last time you all had a conversation lasting longer than a minute. In fact, the last time you two spoke last week, she had tried to heal the nasty cut she managed to give you on your temple… _Tried_ because you stopped her feet with your Sharingan. It's an unwritten rule that during training you can't offensively use your eyes. But you were _angry_ that she had nearly _beat you_, and- the nerve of that woman!- Trying to _heal you _afterwards? Your pride wouldn't allow it.

You can still see the look in her eyes as you glared at her frozen in spot, even now, eight days later. She hasn't spoken to you since, but you've heard enough of it from Naruto about how much of an "asshole" you are, and how you "broke the team code" that you haven't missed her much.

_You_ are probably the _last_ person she wants to see tonight, you figure. But you sit at the far edge of the bar in the corner and stay anyway, because you told Naruto you would. He said she would be happy that you came. He's an idiot, but he's (_they_'re) the closest thing to family you've had in a long time. While you doubt she's very happy with you at the moment, for some odd reason you don't want to give her more fuel for her hate fire.

You sip on your drink and watch the drunken shinobi. If you were a different man this wouldn't be so difficult, you think. You see pink floating around the crowd, and don't deny that she looks very pretty tonight. You would, however, deny it if anyone were to actually ask. She's wearing a white dress that you're sure her annoying best friend forced on. Her hair, while still annoyingly pink, is pulled up in a messy way that makes you forget about the color of it for a brief second. Sakura Haruno is a very attractive woman, you suddenly realize. You chug your drink to erase that thought as soon as it flies through your mind.

Eventually she finds her way to you, smelling like liquor, smiling_ annoyingly_. She leans towards you and it's almost like she might give you a hug; but you flinch away and she pulls back at that. She doesn't seem angry at you anymore and you know it must be the drink, not Sakura, who's talking to you right now. She wants to know if you remember when she offered to leave Konoha with you. _For _you. You feel slightly awkward and decide not to answer, thinking to yourself that she's dumb for asking such a question at this point in your lives. What was that- six, seven years ago? You frown, of course. That's the only way you know how to deal with her.

Then green is looking over your shoulder and she's frowning too, "Here I am now, leaving for myself…and yet, _still_ for you." She stops twirling a strand of curled pink. "How pathetic."

Sakura turns and walks away, leaving you off-balance. You finish your glass and walk out, unable to make yourself annoyed with her words. You just feel guilty. Suddenly, _you_ feel like the dumb one, and you don't understand why.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**fourth**__year._

_._

You're twenty.

You aren't a teenager anymore. You've lived two whole decades, and all you have to show for it is a rather impressive 'successful missions' ratio and a huge, empty district guarded by gates marked with your clan's symbol.

You're starting to think about what your idiot sensei told you all those years ago.

You're starting to think about the symbol you wear on your back.

You're starting to think about life after being a ninja.

But honestly, you haven't really thought about _her _in months. Sometimes you'll see a flash of pink or red and be hit with déjà vu, but the last "conversation" (if that's what one would call it) still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth when you recall it (you still haven't figured out why). Today you're reminded of her though, as Naruto is dragging up ghosts from the past, because they send letters to each other every week. He stopped telling you about what she was writing after the first two months. You like it better that way. She isn't here, but she'll be back, and that's all you really need to know. But he's upset, and he came to your house, and he's telling you about how Sakura just sent him a letter that she was returning next week.

_Good_, you think, for reasons not including her presence back in Konoha. You'll be on a mission in Sound next week and won't have to take part in the welcoming party. You will deal with that when it's the two of you, alone; waiting for your teammates like you always seemed to do with her. Then (and only then, where you are completely alone) you will be slightly more cordial with her, you decide, and tell her "Welcome back," because she's your teammate, after all, whom you haven't seen in a year. You might be cold hearted, but it's still there… somewhere. And you might even apologize for the last sparring match you two had, because sometimes you see green and betrayal and hurt in your dreams and knows it's her, stuck in place, trying to heal you.

You ask why he's upset, if she's apparently coming home (though in far less syllables).

"'Cause she said she's coming to talk to Tsunade about her mission…"

You nod. Her return is ideal at this point, because you've also realized that you far prefer having her as your medic; though you won't ever say that aloud. After dealing with other medics in her absence, you really can't deny that she's the best. She, _perhaps_, isn't as weak as you presumed before…

"She said she likes it there …"

Now you're confused. _Sakura _likes it in _Suna_? _Away_ from Konoha? Away from _yo_-…her _team_?

"She wants to extend her mission another year!"

He's staring at you like your mirror.

And suddenly… you're starting to think about Sakura.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**fifth**__year._

_._

You're twenty-one, and you are completely speechless for the first time in your life.

You've never been a man of many words but at least you always had a grunt to give. Now, not even. It's the first time you've seen her since she left on her mission, and here she is, in the Hokage's office. She's as vibrant and colorful as you remember. Naruto is behind his desk (yes, _his _desk) looking as bewildered as you feel. You came to give the report for your last mission. Instead, you're greeted with long pink. And green.

And it's been _two years_.

…And she's brought someone with her.

She's looking over her shoulder at you, and you remember this scene from years ago. When it was_ you_ looking back at _her_ on a dark cobbled road by the gates of the city. The smile she gives you is different than the one you remember her wearing for you. Everything about her is a bit different than you remember, now that you're really looking. She looks a bit curvier, her hair is longer, her skin is tanner, and her eyes…

"You remember Kankuro, don't you, Sasuke?"

Her eyes have never looked as bright as when she turns to the man on her left and smiles the _annoying_ smile you've been remembering since she decided to stay in Suna.

…and it doesn't annoy you for the same reason anymore.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**sixth**__year._

_._

You're twenty-two, and you're (_finally_) leading your first team.

But you are about 98.3% sure that Naruto did_ this_ on purpose. Whether for his amusement or because he thinks he's proving a point, you haven't decided. All you know is this has got to be some level of torture hell might use when you die. You're the leader of a border patrol mission- with _Karin _and _Sakura_. You know it makes sense to have a medic and a sensor on these types of missions. You know you requested to lead your next mission. But there are at least a hundred different people Naruto could have assigned to your team. There is no way (NO possible WAY) this was a coincidence.

You haven't seen Sakura without her _boy-toy _(you refuse to acknowledge him as the 'friend who is a boy' word) in months.

You just saw Karin last night, when she offered and you didn't deny.

Perhaps if Naruto knew what (who) you had done the night before (or any number of others you've been with in the past few months), he wouldn't have done this to you. But the idiot thinks _you're _an idiot for letting Sakura be with that piece of dirt from the Sand. He thinks you two just need time together. He thinks Sakura needs to realize she's still in love with you, and you need to realize that you love her, and you two are meant to be together, and she'll leave that tattoo boy for you, and you'll kiss and make up and marry and have lots of little Uchiha babies with pink hair and dark eyes and he'll be the godfather.

No, really. He's told you this multiple times in the past year.

This is what you're thinking about as you and your (annoying) team set up camp for the night. Karin only looks away from you to glare at Sakura, and Sakura hasn't so much as turned her head in your direction. She's drumming her fingers against her thigh by the campfire. An oddly familiar habit.

"I'll take first watch," it's the first time you've spoken since the gates.

"I'll go second! You can wake me up_ any time _though, _Sasuke-kun_," Karin winks at you.

But you're caught completely off guard by the scoff you hear from across the fire. Sakura is glaring at Karin, and then she's glaring at you, her green eyes hold yours like a challenge. She knows about you and Karin, you think. You don't know how, but she knows. Then she's standing up and crossing her arms and you remember that habit too; something you learned about her years ago, when you two were alone quite often.

You don't know why, but you feel bad. You feel like you have to explain, or ask why she looks so angry; it's not like she's still in love with you, it's not like she isn't doing anything- isn't _doing_ that _trash _she brought back from Suna- ask why she's pretending to still care, or why it matters at all to her what you do. Ask her if she even _does _care. Ask her just to make sure that you still know her as well as you once did.

You wonder why _you _care to know any of that.

"No, you will take third. Sakura will take second."

She whirls back around. Her mouth is slightly open in surprise and that's not a habit you knew she had, but you find your mind already recording it against your will. You feel strange, you feel like you're on the verge of something. You feel. You _feel_, and that annoys you. _Thank you_… The phrase pops up in your mind and makes you frown at her like you remember doing so many times before. You turn towards your sleeping bag, wondering why you opened your mouth made her second watch in the first place.

You_ feel_ like Sakura is the most annoying woman you've ever met.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**seventh**__year._

_._

You're twenty-three. You're still single.

It's three in the morning, and she's outside your door, drunk and crying and telling you that now _she's _single. You see red (murder, death, _revenge_) when she tells you that she's been at the bar, that she can't go to Kakashi's because he's on a mission and she can't go to Naruto's because he's at the Hyyuga compound and she can't go to Ino's because of the baby; and she can't go home because the _piece of trash _from the Sand broke up with her and kicked her out because of yo-

_Thank you_.

She stops, eyes wide, before crying even harder.

You've never let anyone stay the night in the main house.

You let her in.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**eighth**__year._

_._

You're twenty-four and Naruto just threatened to exile you from the village.

You smirk. He wants to know the details but you don't answer. You don't know why he seems so angry, when this is what he's wanted all along. It finally happened last night, a whole year after tattoo boy left back to Suna.

"You can't just _have sex_ with Sakura!"

The hell you can't. You did. And it was great. Much better than any other girl you've been with, which is a lot of competition to go against. Your smirk grows. You never knew she had it in her, but you don't deny that you've been thinking about tearing her clothes off and finding out for quite some time. You'll definitely be seeing her more often than the rest, you think.

"Jealous?"

Your best friend is glaring bloody murder towards you. "Of course not. But you can't_ just_ have sex with her, Sasuke."

"You said that."

"I'm serious!"

"Isn't this what_ you_ wanted, dobe?"

And then, for the first time in your entire life, Naruto makes_ you_ feel like the dobe.

"No, I didn't want_ this_. I _refuse_ to allow you to use her. I mean- Kami- Sasuke, you just told me you _'fucked'_ Sakura! If that's all she is to you- just another _fuck_- then _stay the hell_ away from her! That girl is all the family I have left, and I care about her, and I thought you did too... But if you're just gonna jerk her around then I won't let that happen!" He looks serious for the first time in a long time. "Do you understand me?"

You feel like this is three years ago when you were standing in this same room, watching Sakura smile _your_ smile at someone else. Only now Naruto is you, and you're Kankuro, and he's saying all the things you were thinking of telling the sand trash that day (had you been a man of words, which you aren't).

Naruto has always been the mirror of the things you yourself could never show.

And you understand a bit more.

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**ninth**__year._

_._

You're twenty-five and you have no clue what you're doing.

You two haven't spoken in months. She found out about the girl from Mist. You thought you two had an understanding, though. She said she didn't want any strings attached. She _told_ you she didn't have those types of feelings for you anymore- and you believed it. She hasn't given you _that _smile in six years (not since her party in the bar and you _still _don't know why you felt so guilty (so dumb) from her words) and she never hinted at wanting more.

You two talked about this a year ago after your come-to-Jesus talk with Naruto. You two were clear.

You two were nothing more than teammates with benefits, and it was a mutual agreement, or so you thought.

But she hasn't spoken to you since she found out, and it's been bothering you. You miss her- …in your bed, that is. That's all. Really, you think, that's _really _the _only_ reason. She's the best and you find you keep comparing the others to her and you're starting to miss her…_-_it! You're starting to miss_ it_!

…You really have no clue what you're doing.

But it's midnight and you're standing outside the hospital because you know her shift just ended- because she's been avoiding you for three months- because you can never find any other time when you're completely alone with her to talk about it. Because…well, you really aren't sure _why_ you're out here. But you are, and you're already at a loss of what's supposed to happen when she comes out of those doors.

Did she _lie_ when she said she was okay with not being serious?

The longer it goes (with you two passing on the street like strangers) the more you think about it. The more you _feel_ about it- and you remember why this woman is so damn _annoying_. You were angry the first time you thought that; thought that she was _lying _to you. You were confused as to _why _she would do that a few weeks later. After all, she was the first one to say it was only sex! And yet here _you_ are now, feeling like you need to talk to her, feeling like this has gone on long enough, _feeling_ like you _want_ her to tell you she _was_ lying…

And you have no clue why.

You're so caught up in your thoughts that you miss her step out of the double glass doors. You miss her stop in her tracks, mouth slightly open. You miss her cross her arms, and bite her lip, and drum her fingers against her upper arm. You miss her slowly walk up to you.

You _miss_ her, you think. You're finally thinking.

"What are you doing here?"

You're asking yourself the same thing. You look in to green (green, green) eyes and they haven't looked that sad since the day she begged you to stay, when she wanted to forsake her village all for you. And suddenly you_ think_ you know why you felt so dumb back at her party. You think you know _why_ you're here now. You think you know why you thought _that smile _was so "annoying"; why you wanted to murder that boy from Suna for making her cry; why you felt lost when Naruto told you she was leaving, and told you she was staying there; and why you only ever knew how to frown at her when you _weren't_ _thinking_.

You think you know what you were thanking her for all those years ago.

It looks like she wants to cry. You've never been a man of many words.

"Were you lying?" But you can try. "Because I've been lying to myself for a long time, Sakura."

The world stops for a few seconds as she stares at you, cogs whirling in her mind; and you stare back, willing her to figure out what you're trying to say. If you were another man this might have been easier, you think. Then she's starting to cry, and you're worried. She didn't understand. But slowly, ever so slowly, her lips turn up and she's smiling, and her eyes are shining and it's _there_ (after _so many_ _years_), _that_ smile, the one you once found so annoying is creeping on her face. You've never felt so dumb as now, wondering why you ever found something so beautiful so _annoying_.

You don't want to frown this time. You don't want to glare what that smile holds away anymore.

Sakura is hugging you, and crying, and "Yes, Sasuke-kun, I lied, I was _lying_!" And she's kissing you for the first time in months, only it doesn't feel as hollow as the ones you remember sharing under silk bed sheets and drunken nights. She's looking at you again, and her (once annoying) smile is telling you everything it always has, ever since she was swearing to keep you happy that night, long ago.

_I love you, Sasuke-kun._

_._

_x_

_._

_.the__**tenth**__year._

_._

You're twenty-six.

And you're staring at the most beautiful woman you've ever known. It took you quite a while to realize that, didn't it? If you were a different man, would it have taken so long? You wonder, had life gone any other direction, would you have ended up here- standing beside her- or would you have never worked out why you once thought Sakura was so _annoying?_ Would you have continued being each other's _nothing?_ If you hadn't let her teach you how to accept love, to be loved, to _love_ again... where would you be?

You wonder how you, the avenger, managed to get so lucky. But, you suppose, if you were any other man you would've never gotten this girl. She looks perfect, smiling _your_ smile up at you, and you wonder what took you _so damn long_. But you thank Kami it happened at all.

You slide the gold band on to her finger. "I do."

You kiss her without waiting for the priest to tell you to do so. People are clapping and cheering (you hear Naruto yell, "I told you! _I TOLD YOU_!") and you bet they never thought they would live to see the day Sakura Haruno became Sakura Uchiha. But she is now.

She's yours.

("NOW MAKE ME A GODFATHER, TEME!")

She pulls away, "I love you, Sasuke-kun." Her smile tells you she isn't lying, that she's never lied about _this_. Maybe you never lied about it either, though. Maybe it was just different words back then, spoken by a boy who didn't _think_, who didn't _understand_.

_Thank you._ "I love you too, Sakura."

.

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The mood hit me to write, so I did. Feedback is always appreciated :)

..so please **review**? please? :)

-starry


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